No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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