So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
