I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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