I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize