your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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