We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
