I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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