I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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