Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
