i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
