i was born a porn star she said
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
