people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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