Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize