Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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