I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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