Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
