You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So squirting runs in the family.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize