I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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