he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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