Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
