I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
