4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize