you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
