Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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