i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
