Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
