It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
