U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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