He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
