elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
