But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
