You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
