well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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