and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
