Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
