I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize