this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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