Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
