Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
