My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
