"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize