evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
