Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
