i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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