the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
