see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
