I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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