my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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