i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
