I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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