you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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