well you can't waste a boner
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
