Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
