I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
