I cockslap morals
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
