Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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