before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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