Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
