he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
