tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
